i’m in no mood to do anything
just waiting for monday
why?
i also don’t know other than the fact, its the day where my grandfather will be cremated and few days later his ashes will be scattered into the sea.

since i’m so bored now
and i can’t go anywhere
and i don’t feel like talking to anybody - in the last 48 hrs,
i’ve been in shutdown mode.
more shutting down to do cos ppl are calling and coming to visit
my phone that we only use for making local calls - that also, even rarely. has been ringing.non.stop
all the phones in the house has been like ringgggggggggggggggggggggg since friday.

btw
i think i just failed uni this sem
cos after i received the news on thursday
i didn’t even do anything but rush all the way back home
the house has never been this filled before.
everybody just stayed home to keep my mum company on friday.
all my assignments that’s dued on friday i also didn’t have time to go in.
lack of sleep
lack of emotions
lack of everything aside from breaking down cos all it takes is for one person to cry
the whole chain reaction thing will happen.
lucky my dad and i and the sibling are cold blooded.
we hardly shed tears for ppl and even if we are sad
we keep it to ourselves.
truth to be told
monday is like what my sibling said - the calm before the sea.

i don’t even know how to explain this situation to my lecturers
other than
i can’t give a rat’s ass right now until monday has passed
everything is on hold for me now.
i’m just waiting.

i’m really scared when the phone rings on monday.
on monday
monday bloody monday.
it is now the last violin wire left on the violin that’s being stretch to the max
monday is the trigger that will decide if it should snap
monday is suppose to be the day we bid my grandfather good bye
yet it there is a dark cloud overshadowing it.
or maybe i’m just paranoid….

today is saturday
i’m finishing the last half of the things my dad told me to do on his behalf.
and its fucken raining.
i hate my friends on msn who won’t leave me alone because they seem to be disrespectful but then again, they don’t know.
but its not that hard to see from my msn name.
those who do not message will just randomly message and say bullshit
if you got nothing to say
please don’t say anything
the busy sign is there.

i see it now
first the strong
then the denial
then the anger
next and to come
the sadness…

i’m going to eat panadol now and go to sleep.

Project 2,996
- taken from mellissa’s blog XD
(thanks if not for you, i won’t even know bout this site)

well for starters,
read here cos i think nobody can explain this better than the creator themselves.
About Us - 2996

as i gathered while browsing through,
its that we’ve to do research on an assigned 9/11 victim and write them a tribute.

no donations or anything like that
just like mellissa said,
only a fragment of your invaluable time to remember these people.

-mX