i really envy my friends who’ve told their parents

“hey i’d like to try living independently. thanks”
or some under the pretext - “i wanna share a place wif my mates” or
“its closer to uni”

me being who i am and my current living conditions and being asian and living wif very traditional and clingy asian parents, naturally i have no ballz to tell my mum i want to move out at barely 21.
great right?
(i haven’t even got my full license..so that’s sorta fucked..no car too…)

meh
but then i start to wonder
how can they afford to
travel,
party every weekend,
groceries,
petrol,
car WOF (most of them have old cars so every 6 months need to go get warrant of fitness if not cannot drive…)
insurance - content, health and car; pay rent and fees?
their part time job certainly is probably just enough to cover the weekly rent and weekly grocery/eat out bill
clubbing bill?
petrol?
household bills?
internet?
ok uni fees - they get from govt - student loan.
so that’s sussed.

then if they get the student allowance, their work hours are cut down significantly and you get paid according to your grades
also, you can borrow cost of living - the govt pays for your fees and your boarding rent but to a max of $150 or something like that.
i am not too sure about the figures because i don’t take any of the benefits other than the ones they make us take and stuff available like student loan. if you are a PR or a new zealand citizen, please go find study link.
(but let’s use the figures state here as an example. and btw, not everybody qualifies for this benefits..so terms and condition apply - check out study link!!!)

i sure as hell know they don’t ask their parents for money cos their parents are probably hippies or maybe new age so they go on their on holidays etc..its quite black and white that when you reach 18, you either move our or get kick out and suss yourself. if you ask money from your parents, YOU HAVE NO BALLZ cos you asking your parents for money……

so they can’t possibly work 40 hrs a week because you need to sleep and study and etc…

o yea..then you have mofos who don’t work and live off their partners cos either they have like 32532523 kids already at the nubile age 18…(but they sure as hell look like their frigging 30 yo…) and they they get family benefits from government, they get solo mom benefits, some who don’t work go on the dole (like wtf you fat ass mofo obese bum - more than often..) etc…man the government gives so much benefit - healthcare is free - but if you go general hospital, i think if you wait to see a doc for a cold, only 2 things can happen - either you wait until you die or you will wait until your cold has healed by itself.

so…
where you guys get the money to just move out like that?
lol
the asians are another story completely - its like their money is like a constant flow of running water from the tap. and the irony being it all goes down the drain - kids driving mini coopers and lancer Evos and skylines and shit. sure, cars here are cheap. how many of them have a legit license to even drive here? but that isn’t my point. they live in big houses and in downtown’s quay west hotel/service apartments, they live in quest service apartments and party all night and i hardly see them work. those who do hold a job are sensible people, more than often or are being forced to help out their family business

but look
the point is
how do these people survive on meagre allowance?

i want to move out.
but i have no ballz yet to just go
(as my friend said - it will break my parents’s heart and more importantly, my sibling will suffer because of my actions. )
and i might go broke because i feel i don’t have enough of money to pay the first 2 months of rent and covering transportation and household bills etc..

i want to do so much things..
but i feel i am being held back…
(they may seem useless to most - but i feel i have potential there..the whole gutt thing..)

have you ever wanted to many things and you know you can get it
BUT
because the people who have supported you financially your whole life would NEVER HEAR OF IT
we have to sit in the shadows and slowly fade away?
i don’t wish to be the peanut who forgot its pod
but i need to get away, make my own mistakes,
drink my own poison and fuck up a little bit.

ironic…in a way i am already fucked up.
just not as fucked up ala rock and roll style.

lol
i guess…
i have to hack it for 2 years - if i get suspended, i will
just take off leave a letter and pull a big al.
come back 5 years later
be the prodigal child
or maybe just receive a slap
and move on.

but then again,
life here has taught me a few things that i can hope - i can hope
to travel to other places if i work hard enough regardless if i’m from a middle class income family.
in msia, i won’t have dared to dream of this as a possibility
other than just travelling to thailand or singapore
lol